Defensiveness Is The Process Of Protecting Your

Defensiveness Is The Process Of Protecting Your – Protect your ego. It’s an understandable reflex. Naturally, we want to protect ourselves and live well.

But, instead, our efforts to protect our egos often make us childish or lose our human dignity.

Defensiveness Is The Process Of Protecting Your

For example, let’s say I was talking to Becca and said, “I think Elliot has B.O. and you need to take a shower more often!” Let’s say Elliot heard me and got mad.

My Partner Always Gets Defensive: What Causes It & What To Do

I can be distracted, make excuses, and do all kinds of sports. It is a form of self-defense or self-defense. I can say, “Well, I’m not wrong. They have a B.O. Or, “They shouldn’t have listened to my talk at all.” Or, “Well, Jodi told me Elliot called me lazy last week.”

But it turns out I was wrong in this case. It would be better to apologize and stop talking bad to other people. But this is very difficult for many people. And usually because of the black and white we have ourselves.

Have you ever tried to ask someone to change their behavior because they are doing something wrong and they still insist, “But I’m a good guy!”? The reality is that if you ask them to change their behavior, they will do something bad or worse. If they do something wrong, they are not “good”. And that makes them the “bad guy” on many logical lines.

Another variation: “I’m not ignoring your feelings; I am a good mother. “Or,” What I said was not discrimination;

Kamikaze Defense: What It Is, How It Works, Types

The truth is that all people, even good people, are capable of harming others. We all make mistakes. We all have behavioral patterns that we need to change. Everyone did something thoughtless or selfish that hurt someone else. This does not mean that none of us are beautiful or good.

And being kind means not hurting people. So we find every reason to blame another for having special reasons to blame us for hurting him.

When we do mental exercises and make up excuses and lies, most people get it anyway. In the end, we show ourselves not only to have made a mistake, but to have lost our integrity. And we end up making ourselves feel bad by spending time and energy looking at our own lies and nonsense.

The main thing is to develop a healthy and balanced life. We will never stop making mistakes or hurting others unintentionally.

What Is Blue Teaming?

But we can develop our awareness and self-awareness to be strong enough to accept the challenge of owning our mistakes.

Forgiveness sets you free. It frees us from our irrational desires and the mental gymnastics required of us to be irrational. We can stop believing that a mistake makes us a bad person.

We cannot control whether people choose to forgive us or how others perceive us. We can’t always have the closure we want. But we can make wise choices about our values ​​and focus on controlling our actions instead of explaining them.

In the end, we will feel better about ourselves, help others feel better, and respect those we respect.

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The author, Alex Kestrel, is a nursing student pursuing a degree in psychology and behavioral psychology and has studied gender and women’s studies at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Questions can be shared with Oleksii at launchwithyouTRM@gmail.com.

Alex Kestrel is a registered nurse, majoring in psychology and behavior, and a graduate of the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

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What’s The Difference Between Offensive Vs. Defensive Cybersecurity?

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Technical storage or access is required to create user profiles in order to send advertisements or track the user across websites or multiple websites for similar marketing purposes. Defense is a coping mechanism where we attack the other person to distract from our own faults and insecurities. The key to not being defensive in a relationship is learning how defensiveness works and how to manage it effectively.

It may sound stupid, but he is very defensive. Whenever I bring up a difficult topic, ask him to do something different, or point out a mistake, he hits me and often criticizes me – often for things I’ve done years ago! I can’t live with someone who isn’t mature enough to have a serious conversation or take responsibility for their mistakes. I had.

Defensive Driving: Importance Of Wearing Seat Belts

Amazingly, the next hour I had my first session with a client who explained why he came to this treatment:

I think it’s my anger problem. I just get angry when he criticizes me. I know it’s unfair, but I explode when we argue. It’s not me – it’s not who I want to be – but it’s like I turn into the Hulk every time we argue. I think I want to touch it.

In case you are wondering, the second client was not the first husband. But it’s a good example of how much protection the problem is. And the results can be serious if left unchecked.

In the rest of this book, I’ll explain what self-defense is, including where it comes from and how it works, and then give you practical strategies you can use to stop being defensive and improve your relationship. .

Unauthorized Access: Risks, Examples, And 6 Defensive Measures

The term self-defense can be confusing, in part because we use it to mean two related but different things: self-defense as

It usually refers to how we feel emotionally when someone criticizes us (or we perceive it as criticism). It is usually a feeling, incl

It describes the steps we take after being criticized (and listened to). For example, we criticize, say something insulting, keep someone quiet, etc.

Technically, it’s usually best to reserve the word defensive for the behavior we do after being criticized.

Reducing Your Exposure To Cyber Attack

Defense is a coping mechanism where we attack the other person to distract from our own faults and insecurities.

When someone points out a mistake or otherwise says something critical, it hurts. This is completely understandable and normal. We all make mistakes and realizing these mistakes is always painful.

We use defensive postures to block this feeling of pain. By criticizing another person, we also shift our focus to their faults or mistakes, temporarily making us feel bad about ourselves.

After all, self-defense is nothing but a way to feel good. Unfortunately, its positive effects are usually short-lived and often lead to serious deterioration of well-being in the long term.

Defensiveness: Give Yourself A Break And Apologize For Real

We will talk more about how protection works, but first let’s look at the reasons for protection and where it comes from.

Bullies are a prime example of this. Most bullies are not horrible psychopaths who enjoy inflicting pain for no reason. Instead, most bullying is a response to bullying. A child who is bullied and bullied by parents at home will end up being bullied by younger children at school.

Because bullying often makes you feel small and weak. And if you don’t have a good sense of power and competence, bullying other people can create a false sense of power and security. In other words, bullies bully because it is the only way to deal with insecurity and helplessness.

So we rely on this primitive coping mechanism of blaming and criticizing the other person to make us feel better temporarily. In other words, protection creates an illusion of self-confidence and self-esteem.

Poison Pill: A Defense Strategy And Shareholder Rights Plan

Remember another client I described who came to therapy because his wife threatened divorce if he didn’t get it checked out? Well, this is how our joint venture has progressed…

My client – we’ll call him Tom – felt his self-defense was a problem, but he didn’t understand it – where it came from and why he continued to do it.

Interestingly, for most of Tom’s marriage (and indeed his life), self-defense was not an issue. That’s good

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